Category Archives: Her Bright Materials

Editorials

Thirteen in 2013: Goals for the New Year

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A lot of people make resolutions when the new year rolls around, but I decided to draw up a list of thirteen specific goals I’d like to achieve in 2013. Some of it is related to my career, some of it is related to just having a good time. Do you draw up a resolution? Do you hit the “reset” button on new goals, drawing up a new personal mission statement? Or do you continue onward to achieve the quests and challenges set in previous years?

In no particular order, here are my:


01) Go to a drive-in movie

02) Be a guest speaker about food blogging/social media

03) Collaborate with more destination companies/travel boards/food tourism boards/independently owned accommodation

04) Travel to a country I’ve yet to visit

05) Find a sponsor(s) for Glass of Win

06) Contribute to an Irish publication

07) Stay with another helpx.net host

08) Buy less things for myself; bestow more random surprises to my friends

09) Create my own sweet & savory seasoning mixtures

10) Get over my nausea with blood oranges and make a recipe fit for The Little Vampires

11) Start and complete a podcast series

12) Complete art endeavors and reopen my Etsy store

13) Visit my best friend and hug her like I’m never going to let her go.

LEAVE A COMMENT: share your goals/resolutions/mantra/Quests/Mission Statements for 2013!

The Penny Pool – Helping a Dog in Need

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I rarely deviate from the world of food/travel on Glass of Win, but this is one of those moments in life when I need to temporarily push everything else aside and ask the world for some help. Last week my childhood friend Annie told me her dog, Penny, needs surgery. Penny is not even five years old but she has to have TPLO surgery to help correct a abnormal knee angle, and repair torn ligaments in her knee. The vet told Annie this is more than likely genetics and was not caused by any one action in particular. Everyone in Penny’s life is coming together to try and raise the money it is going to take for her to have this surgery and her subsequent post-op therapy.

I’m not one for guilt-tripping tactics or going into excruciatingly saccharine detail on the love Penny’s family & friends have in their hearts for her; that is neither here nor there. The bottom line is that I would never post anything so vulnerable unless it was of the utmost importance. Penny is an essential member of the McKenna-Arellano clan and an animal that must rely on human intervention and technology to give her a better quality of life. End of story.

No worries if you can’t donate. This is my singular post on the matter, though I will update it as new ways to donate become available. Keep an eye out for virtual yard sales, Penny buttons, and some good old fashion geekery where proceeds will go toward the Penny Pool. In the meantime, for straight up donations please click the button below.





Thanks for reading. Please feel free to spread this post like wild fire, Penny needs all the help the internet can offer! <3

Guest Post: So, your child has Autism… Now what???

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Thank you to my wonderful friend Sarah Kushner for writing this very personal guest post for Glass of Win while I’m away at the hospital. – Rachael

It was only a couple months ago that I sat at this desk I am at right now, when my heart hit the floor and my life… my very being… changed. It was only a couple months ago that I got the results back from the child psychologist. My oldest child was diagnosed with Autism.

My little rock star, my Emily, had been given a label… one that she will carry with her throughout her life. I hung up with the doctor and cried. My first thoughts were dark, I thought about the battles… with programs… with teachers… with bullies…

She has always been “different” and though I suspected something could be wrong, I admit I had some heavy denial. “I was a quirky kid… her daddy was quirky… we’re just a big quirky bunch!” It was quirky that she would pull out everything from the fridge and line everything up on the floor… It was quirky that she took longer to talk ( so did her daddy after all )… It was quirky that she was so independent and didn’t cuddle… Complete lack of fear? Quirky!… Wouldn’t touch sticky things? Quirky!… Wouldn’t let anyone touch her head? BAH… she’s just quirky!

But Autism? No… couldn’t be.

What I have discovered in the few months since is that I’m becoming a much tougher person. I also feel like I’m flying through the air on a rocket. Life is moving faster… things are on timelines and deadlines and tight schedules.

There are things I’m learning day by day. It’s the old adage “one day at a time.” But here are some things that I would give as advice to other parents, should they find themselves hearing the diagnoses that their child has autism.

Get Over Yourself: This is a time when your child needs you to be solid. Take a brief time to soak things in, and get to work. You need to start setting up appointments with school districts, counselors, therapists… You need to keep your head clear for the barrage of questions about your child. You will feel on the spot… guaranteed. Stop pitying yourself. Stop blaming yourself. This is not about you, and its not your fault. Your child doesn’t need tears right now… your child needs action. So, cry… feel fear… but move on quickly. Time is ticking…

Resist Your Urge to Kill: Inevitably all parents go through the moment where a stranger gives some glare at you while your child is acting up. Some stranger will give unwanted advice… When your child has autism, a trip to the grocery store becomes over stimulating fast… You will soon discover that certain odd behaviors are how your child deals with these situations. For Em it tends to involve yelling, nothing in particular, just yelling. She also wants EVERYTHING… and that leads to meltdowns. She gets frantic… she sounds like she’s hyperventilating… Then some old lady walks by me and gives me the “Control your brat” look. Or, there are the nuclear meltdowns… Em’s last one got me the unwanted advice from a cashier “Just ignore her. I have two kids, you just ignore them they stop.” I lowered my gaze… I controlled my temper… and calmly said “NO, actually she wont. She will get worse and worse until she throws up.” Which was why I was in the checkout, trying to get the hell out of there. The point is though, EVERY DAY you will want to cave someone’s teeth in with your fist. Getting into brawls and landing in jail won’t do anyone any good.

Fight for What You Need: Not with fists… But, you may need to yell a bit. The sad truth is… paperwork and bureaucracy goes slow… funding is low… there are a LOT of kids that need help other than yours… You may need to call people every day… You may need to call them 5 or 6 times a day… You may need to be the naggy-est most annoying parent on the planet. You need to do whatever it takes.

Research: Without overdoing it, learn everything you can about autism. Use common sense when you read… Try to read up on actual science and not a random theory with no science backing it up. Just learn, be educated. Learn proper terms and vocabulary so you know what people are talking about.

Support: You need support… no matter how much you think you don’t. Find other parents. One thing you will find out quickly, parents of autistic children stick together and are super supportive.

Be prepared!: You know how I was saying you would feel on the spot. You may feel a little nervous… and forget basic info. Bring notes with you about your child. Write down all the info you can about what they do. When did your child first sit up? Walk? Talk? Do they mix up pronouns? Do they ask to play with kids they know when they aren’t with them? Can they draw shapes? Write it down, write it ALL down.

Get a planner: I’ve never been the hardcore date-book toting professional… I jot down things on Post-Its and put it by my computer and I’m done. But now? I have what appears to be the worlds largest calendar by my desk, a planner in my bag and my ical app is set to chime an alarm several times before an appointment… There are now so many appointments (and I’m only getting started) that I can’t keep them all straight… and it really would be too many Post-Its.

Honestly though, the most important rule… the most important thing you need to remember for the rest of your child’s life… don’t pity them, don’t coddle them, don’t treat them like frail little birds… Because your child is amazing and you know it. They are the same awesome kid that they were before they got that “label”. It’s just now you know some details about things that are holding them back. Imagine how awesome they will be once you get some behaviors under control. They don’t need pity, they rock. They are stronger than you can ever imagine… and you may need to hold their hand now… but you won’t always… so don’t hold them back. Love them like you always have and always will.

A Goose and her Man

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I want to share this story with you because it’s so endearing you might just tear up (or maybe that’s just me?) I’m not big on geese, but I do love a fabulous unlikely friendship story between humans and animals. This aired on CBS & Sunday Morning back in February, with a follow-up video at the beginning of April. Enjoy.




Here is an update video, pardon the recap.




Isn’t that sweet? I can’t get over it. I hope Mario makes it out of the Los Angeles zoo and go back to Echo Park to his daily walks with Dominic <3

The Weekly Toast

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Many of us are keeping hourly tabs on the goings on in Japan. I only want to micro-focus on a US Riverside student, Akiko Kosaka, a student of my friend Laura, whose hometown was devastated by the tsunami. Unable to get a hold of her family, terrified her family perished, someone alerted Akiko to a YouTube video. Here is the news story via CNN.




Stay safe, everyone <3

The Weekly Toast

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If you don’t know it by now, I am a complete sucker for happy animal stories. Dogs, cats, rats, snakes, hamsters, elephants, horses, wolves, monkey’s, lions, whatever. I love them all. Except emu’s. They scare me.
It wasn’t too long ago that Mister J and I were talking about animals and elephants came up. I remembered that there was an elephant sanctuary here in the states that I’d like to one day give money to and volunteer for a day. Then I recalled a story about the sanctuary to Mister J and he…well, he didn’t not believe me, but he wanted proof or it only happened in one of my many bizarre dreams.
So, here it is, for everyone who has yet to see the amazing story, and for those of you who want to remind yourselves of Tarra and Bella:




For more information visit The Elephant Sanctuary

Seven steps to evaluate energy-vampires & eliminate bad relationships

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A new year means it’s time to take a step back and reexamine our lives. Are we where we want to be in life, or at least are we on our way there? Just as it is important to evaluate the path we are on it is vital to evaluate the relationships we carry with us on our path. Let 2010 be the year that you endeavor to assure that all of the relationships you are involved in are mutually positive, healthy and respectful. For each relationship you have – be it with a significant other, a family member, or friend – ask yourself the following questions:

1) How do I feel when I spend time with this person?
2) How do I feel before and after spending time with this person?
3) Does this person only make contact when they are in trouble or need to vent?
4) Does this person only contact me when they are in need of some sort of expertise I possess?
5) Does this person make themselves available when I need their companionship?
6) Is this person filled with passive-aggressiveness and/or put-downs?
7) What do I get out of this relationship?

Let’s elaborate:

1) How do I feel when I spend time with this person?

Do you constantly feel like you are on eggshells when you are around this person, as if you cannot truly be yourself least this person argues or belittles you? There is a big difference between minding your manners versus completely suppressing your personality for the sake of keeping “peace” in a relationship. That’s not peacekeeping; it’s a hostile hostage situation and not even Batman can rescue you. If this person cannot handle thoughts/views/opinions that differ from their own and are leaving you in a constant state of nervous vigilance, it is time to call forth your inner hostage negotiator and get yourself out of this emotional/psychological landmine.


2) How do I feel before and after spending time with this person?

The prospect of hanging out with your companion should not give you feelings of dread, nor should your instinctive reaction to chilling with your would-be pal be a plethora of made-up excuses to evade them. Wishing for a natural disaster, zombie apocalypse, or a swift and sudden illness that just so happens to hit on the date of your set hang out time should not outweigh the desire to spend time with your friend. Upon concluding your visit, how do you feel? Like you’ve been sucker-punched, drained quicker of your energy than a victim extra on Buffy? If thoughts of, “Oh, boy, I hope they lose my number and forget I exist!” prevail over thoughts of, “Man, I can’t wait to see him/her again! What a great time!” It’s definitely time to estimate the value of keeping this person in your life.

3) Does this person only make contact when they are in trouble or need to vent?

A very common pitfall, one to check ourselves and self-evaluate with every now and then. We get so caught up in our busy, busy lives that we’re unaware of negative patterns we’re creating with our friends when we only use them as a shoulder, an ear, a wall or bail outs. The occasional “OMG, Becky! You won’t believe this!” phone call should always be welcomed, but when the friendship has been reduced to a never-ending cycle of “FML” phone calls it’s time to throw your chum a life saver.
If you’re wary of a pal that’s fallen into this pattern, see if you can’t break them out of it by calling them up and setting up a drama-free day to hang out. If they take you up on it, follow through and everything goes honky-dory, chances are you are giving them a big, helpful push into putting the pieces of your friendship back together. Make sure to end the day with a follow-up schedule in the form of a call or letter to subconsciously remind your mate how much fun you two had.

4) Does this person only contact me when they are in need of some sort of expertise I possess?

Similar to above, this mate only wants to ring you up when they need your car, clothes, alibi, hacksaw, or frighteningly impressive knowledge on forensic & cadaver decay (Hey, that CSI: Miami fanfic ain’t gonna write itself and wouldn’t you know it, someone who calls you a friend just so happens to be a medical examiner). This problem poses the same answer as above: call them up for an unrelated hang out. If they take you up on it, there’s hope, if they constantly dodge you, it’s time to label this friendship D.O.A.

5) Does this person make themselves available when I need them?

Relationships are a two-way street, tit for tat and all that. It’s easy enough to have friendships when it suits our needs, but when you want a little companionship, and there is no tangible incentive for the other party to give you their time/energy, your friend is nowhere to be found. When is it genuine friendlessness VS. being busy?
Being busy can only be an excuse for so long – weigh it against how long you’ve known your friend, the quality of the relationship up to the point when you first suspected you were driving on One-Way Friend Lane, when was the last time they were there for you versus you for them, your effort to maintain said relationship, what changes have come into their lives recently and do a little math work. If cutting ‘em a little slack is in order, you ought to be able to have a frank talk about your friendship. Get your day planners out and make some time with one another. However, if you realize promised returned emails/calls turned empty results, excuses aren’t lining up with facts, it’s probably time to switch gears and find a new route.

6) Is this person filled with passive-aggressiveness and/or put-downs?

Use a bit of your Google-Fu and read up on ‘passive-aggressive behavior’ or ‘examples’. Sound like anyone you may know? Is your chum always putting you down, especially when you’ve got some positive in your life? Their inability to communicate and feel happy for someone they call a friend/family/lover is a major warning signal and it is time to hit the emergency eject button. They may be aware of the control-freak, confidence-crushing behavior they’re putting on you or not, but either way, if they refuse to even recognize these negative, soul-sucking traits in themselves, you cannot force them to change, no matter how much you love them. Putting your own health first is key. If you can’t keep yourself healthy and forward-thinking, how can you be there for the people you love and who truly love you?

7) What do I get out of this relationship?

Every relationship you have should be comprised of co-operation to ensure healthy, positive life. What you should “get out of” a relationship is not something material, but feelings of love, respect and happiness.
You deserve that.
Why settle for apathy, or worse, misery, when you deserve so much more? It isn’t selfish or greedy to want respect and happiness in a relationship, it’s normal and recommended to be at the top of your standards list. If you are struck with the realization that you had duped yourself into thinking you were participating in a co-operative relationship when in fact you have been playing host to some parasitic force, it is definitely time for a serious delousing.



Do you feel like Andre here does every time you think about spending time with your so-called friend?



Staking energy-vampires in the nicest way possible


So, you’ve decided to end a relationship, huh? You’ve done everything within your power, but without the give/take and willingness of the other party to pitch in, or the failure to recognize the problem(s) in the first place, it’s time to pull the plug. Congratulations! I would say I am sorry for your loss (of your time, that is), but really, I’m just too excited for your prospects of future relationships!

If your “pal” is already halfway out the proverbial door of the relationship anyway, all you have to do is learn to stop making the wasted effort and end things quietly by not chasing after them (or the illusion of friendship). Some people just grow apart, it happens.

If a more face-to-face effort has to be made, make sure it’s in a neutral, open-but-secluded place like a cozy corner of a park. Don’t you use the accusatory “You” (“You don’t respect me, you ignore me and belittle me.”) Tell them your feelings from the “I” perspective (“I don’t feel respected, I feel that I am being deliberately shut-out and oftentimes, I feel belittled.”) When you bring the conversation back to yourself, there is a better chance of their defenses being down as they won’t just hear “YOU YOU YOU” and feel attacked. Even if you had talked to them previously, now that a finale is actually here, it may wake them up enough that they offer to work on the relationship.

Re: above. If you are determined to end it, however, end it. Stick to your guns and be strong. Get away for a little while if you need to, or even hibernate and distract yourself with some new projects.

However tempting it might be to vent, and however life force-leeching your former friend may have been, do not talk mad trash about them; especially to mutual friends and on the internet! You’ll sound bitter and if they’re already an Academy Award-worthy actor at playing the victim, they’ll only look more compelling when they can use your harsh words to induce drama.

Never mourn the loss of your relationship/time for more than a minute per year. It’s time to look forward, not back.

Acknowledge that people can change, and if down the line of life your former companion tries to get in touch and offers an olive branch and promises of a renewed effort it may be worth your while to give them a second go. Ask around if they keep in touch with people whose opinions you trust, just be sure to take things slow and stay vigilant for any old familiar warning signs. On the flip side, some people are just incapable of change and best to keep your separate ways. Listen to your instinct.



Annie & I engaging in co-operative competitiveness



May all of your relationships be healthy, and full of respect, fun, and love!



QUESTION: How do you handle energy-vampires and relationships turned sour?

Auld Lang Syne: Keeping Your Resolutions

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I normally take Thursdays off to get a breather between posts, but this is an important day so I made an exception.

Starting a new year gives many people opportunity to start afresh, to take a step back, reexamine their lives and regroup their direction. However, with this opportunity comes overwhelming pressure to DO IT RITE THIS TIME I SWEARS! At least, this is how I feel.
Generally, I am on the same roller coaster ride every year:
I am stoked for the new year, because that means I can shed the previous year like unwanted skin (ew, visual) and go forth with BIGGER! and BETTER! ideas that will surely, surely come to fruition this year, because this year is MY year, it has to be! I’ve never been more determined, more driven, or with more tools to set out and accomplish everything I’ve ever wanted to accomplish – in love, personal image and growth, friendships, independence, and career!

I typically start out on a major high and actually make a valiant effort to obtain these goals, but invariably, I do too much too soon, become overwhelmed, and when a crisis eventually comes my way, I threaten to commit myself under my bed and completely loose focus on all of the positive things I had going for me.
Usually I have to work my way back s-l-o-w-l-y, pick them up from the dust whence I threw them to run screaming towards the hills, and start anew. By this time summer is ebbing and I only have four months to cram in a lot of personal goals and growth. I make some achievements and vow the rest for the New Year because, after all, “tomorrow is another day.”

Finally, finally, I have recognized this vicious cycle I have put myself in and now that I can take a step to the left an reexamine things before I enter the whirlpool of resolution hell, I am outlining the ways that I can make and keep my goals. Maybe something I’ve learned can help you, too.

Firstly, it’s vital that we do not beat ourselves up for not achieving what we meant to in the previous year. Reflect, but do not look back! Celebrate what we achieved and focus on the next step forward, don’t linger on the steps behind.
Example: Yes, getting a publishing deal would have been swell, but I’m not going to dwell on that. What I am going to do is praise myself for actually completing the book I want to eventually have published. Go, me!

Setting new goals means getting organized means having the correct tools to accomplish this and the most vital tool you can have is self-motivation. Self-motivation requires a lot of organization to see that we do not fall off track and fall into old habits.
Example: I need a schedule. I have too many projects going on and many things I need to accomplish each week, little steps that will lead to bigger steps that will lead to PROFIT! and a schedule is essential. I tried to keep a mental To Do list and it just didn’t work for me.

Once you have goals in mind, take the time to write out the steps you need to take on how to achieve this goal. Start with your broad, general goal and work your way back up, step by step. Place this outline where you can see it daily; print it out and tape it above your desk, bed, etc.

Often times physical organization leads to mental organization. If you can’t sort out everything, at the very least get your work space in order (the space that you are using to achieve your goals – be it a desk or work table or kitchen or keeping your gym clothes always ready to go if weight loss is your goal)
Example: In order to stick with the schedule I am making for myself to keep organized, I need to go out and buy a dry erase board and physically keep my schedule up so I stay on task.

There is danger in multitasking and spreading yourself too thin. If you have a lot on your plate as it is and you want to add Goal A, Goal B, Goal C take a step back, assess which Goal is the most vital (let’s say it’s Goal B), focus on there and once you build a comfortable enough momentum that incorporates your life responsibilities and the time set aside needed for Goal B, then attempt to add Goal A or C to the mix. Otherwise you’re just doing a juggling act – round and round it goes, getting nowhere.

Propel yourself forward and work the details out as you go along.
Example: For me, getting caught up in the pre-production of life has always been a major tripwire for me; I get too preoccupied with the outlining stage that I never actually produce anything. One of the rare instances when I took action was buying this domain and starting this blog. I thought and thought and thought and thought about it for nearly a year until finally one random day this summer I said SCREW IT and just went for it, adding details as I went along. If you’ve been with Glass of Win since it’s very beginning, you know the blog was not initially the focus – hell, it wasn’t even on the front page – but it evolved as such because I just kept chugging along, updating, tweaking, figuring out what I liked and what worked.
I am going to be constantly reminding myself not to over-analyze and to just go for it.

Accept that you cannot control everything in your life (this is my nice way of saying shit happens). It isn’t always possible to leave room in our busy schedules for a crisis, but do know that as long that everyone goes through them. You’ll get through it, you will grow from it, learn from it, and move on. I know you will.

Realize that there is no fairy godmother with a magic wand waiting for you in 2010, that your goals are your responsibility to maintain. You can’t expect magic; resolutions are a process. It isn’t going to happen overnight, either. Hell, it may not even happen in 2010, but as long as you are still on the path you want to be on and you got through as many steps as you could, you’re still on your way!

Make sure you are maintaining healthy, positive relationships that are mutually beneficial and satisfying. Nothing sucks worse than an energy vampire who drains you of your happiness and self-confidence every time you interact with them. If there is one vital lesson I had to learn the hard way it is that there are just some people in this world we cannot be around, no matter how much we want to love them and be a part of their lives. This can be a trying experience, but trust me, you need to let it go and chock it up to a life lesson. Your wounds will heal and all of that time you previously spent soaking in their negativity and turning it on yourself can now be put towards building new, positive relationships. There are many human beings on this planet – give some a chance. You may surprise yourself.

ASIDE: If you’re goal is weight loss/shaping up, permit to give you a mere whisper of advice: eat well. exercise. You need to change your life habits, not employ a temporary fix fad. Remember: you can’t spell diet without d i e

I have a bit of a confession to make now. The entire concept of New Year Resolution(s) kind of bothers me. Once you are resolved to do something, DO IT! What are you waiting for? Time is an illusion; there is no imaginary stopwatch in the sky holding you back from starting on your path to what you want to achieve, forbidding you to move forward until 12:00am January 1st hits your time zone. Life is trial and error, all you have to do is go for it.

Whatever your prospects are for 2010, I wish you all the utmost happiness and success. You can take that leap of faith (in yourself!) and you can achieve your goals. Happy New Year!


Twelve Ways of Christmas

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My holiday soap is full of Yuletide cheek


Christmas is right around the corner and many people are experiencing the holiday lull – that moment when things seem like they’re too overwhelming, too stressful, and too much trouble to deal with without having a nervous breakdown. In-laws, holiday parties, gift giving, food, cooking, cleaning, and having to be @#^! jolly while you’re at it. All you want to do is crawl under the covers and say Bah, Humbug!
For Grinch’s and Christmas enthusiasts, I’m here to list twelve ways to keep in the Christmas spirit without losing your mind (hopefully).

1. MUSIC: All right, I admit it, I love Christmas music, so it’s rarely a problem for me (unless it’s R&B). Most of my friends, however, want to grab a 12-gauge and climb the nearest tower. Who says you have to listen to saccharine sop? Put some holly on your funny bone and listen to these parody Christmas songs GRANDMA GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER by Dr. Elmo and I WANT A HIPPOPOTAMUS FOR CHRISTMAS by Gayla Peevy. If you’re more rock and roll, go with FATHER CHRISTMAS by The Kinks or my personal favorite CHRISTMAS WRAPPING by The Waitresses.

2. Are your hand-me-down decorations looking a bit shabby, or are you starting fresh in a new residence? Look no further than this handmade ornament tutorial at Paper*Cakes. Fun, inexpensive, easy, unique AND a great project with kids (age level at your discretion, I’d say nine and up) or friends.

3. Have some relatives over and can’t quite vocalize your Yuletide disgust? Make a quick run to the library or bookstore to grab Murder for Christmas: 26 tales of seasonal malice Includes works from authors Agatha Christie, Ellery Queen, Charles Dickens, and many more! My mom swears by this book. My personal favorite is Hogfather by Terry Pratchett in which Death dons the costume and task of the lovable Hogather, the Discworld’s version of our Santa Claus.



4. Still agonizing over what to get so-and-so? You don’t want it to be trite, or something they could get just anywhere? Something that plays to their interest (say, a love for sheep) and lets them know you took the time out to really show that you care? SHOP ETSY.
Their about page says it all, “Etsy is the world’s most vibrant handmade marketplace…Etsy provides a marketplace for crafters, artists and collectors to sell their handmade creations, vintage goods and crafting supplies.” Where else are you going to find unicorn earmuffs, Super Mario mushroom cuff links, Edward Gorey jewelry, and pottery made from recycled clay?

5. Put a unique spin on your holiday party! Throw a mock Midnight Mass! Turn it into a simple (but not overly complicated/obnoxious/expensive) theme party like asking your guests to wear a hat or red/green. Make food that can be made in advance and warmed in the oven before guests arrive, or have a potluck, a tea party, an appetizer party, a dessert party, a fondue party, or order take-out if you can’t be bothered. Have fun and do not end up spending all of your time in the kitchen instead of hanging out with your friends.

Everything tastes better when dipped in melted cheese.


6. While we’re still talking parties, know your friends and what they like in the way of entertainment. Are they an Apples to Apples kind of crowd? Christmas versions of the Who Am I game and Jeopardy! can be fun, too:
Who am I: For each party guest, take a note/index card, write the title of a holiday flick OR a famous Christmas motif (snowman, elves, etc)
and tape the card on the back of your guests. Have your guests ask questions that may only be answered with yes/no (20 questions style) as they try to figure out who/which title you have assigned them!
Holiday Jeopardy: Assign five categories (i.e: Christmas songs, movies, motifs, Santa lore, Christmas 101), each category containing five questions each with a bonus point number facing your “contestants” Have your guests answer in the form of a question, and have a bonus category & question waiting so that guests may wager what they have already racked up in the main round. It’s a lot of fun! Make sure to have someone keep score and a way to judge who gets to answer questions (bells, whistles, raising their hand, shouting out an assigned word)

7. Send out a snarky end-of-year letter to your friends and family along with an awkward photo of yourself or your grumpy pets in ridiculous costumes. You can use this letter my best friend wrote as an example. No, you don’t have to tell me how awesome she is. I already know.

8. Don’t bankrupt yourself on gift-giving. I don’t care how faux pas it sounds, but a group gift in the form of a dinner party or just simply spending quality time with your loved ones is profoundly special (unless these people are ungrateful, materialistic gift-mongers, in which case you’ll just have to trade them in for new family/friends).

9. Do not be afraid to let your personal taste and interests come out in full during the holidays. I once spent a Christmas with good people who had an iron miniature tree decorated with doll heads and an impaled Santa Clause atop.

Alternative Christmas cards from Nightmoth.co.uk


Why hope for a white Christmas when it can be a pink Christmas?


10. Remember to get in some personal time, especially when you’re being bombarded with holiday house guests. If they’re going out, find something relaxing to do at home (soak in a hot bath, get in some reading, work on personal projects, SLEEP IN!) or if the visitors are staying in, escape for a couple of hours (personal errands, go see a movie, treat yourself to a nice meal, a massage, a mani/pedi, a haircut, some time at the gym!) If you have to go out with them, make sure to split-up some of the time so you can get a breather (and some Dairy Queen). They plan to go see the 12:20 screening of Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel? You go see the 12:40 showing of Sherlock Holmes and meet them at the food court. You need to take care of yourself, too, and I think a large part of holiday stress is forgetting this.

11. Sick of Rudolph, James Stewart, “God bless us everyone,” and all the rest of the standard fare Christmas movies and TV? Rent off-beat Christmas movies such as National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, We’re No Angels (my family tradition), Black Christmas (original), Ernest Saves Christmas, Silent Night, Deadly Night, Die Hard (What? It’s totally a Christmas movie), Hogfather, and The Ref.

“Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.”


12. Holiday drinks! Unwind with a little Yuletide cheer with some Egg Nog, Hot Buttered Rum, Hot Chocolate, Wassail, and our family tradition, Mulled Wine.

hot buttered rum


Remember that Christmas is but once a year and you have the power to make it memorable if you find that balance between giving unto others without compromising yourself to the point of wishing death unto others instead. Do not force yourself into traditional trappings, make Christmas your own, and truly have happy holidays!