Auld Lang Syne: Keeping Your Resolutions
I normally take Thursdays off to get a breather between posts, but this is an important day so I made an exception.
Starting a new year gives many people opportunity to start afresh, to take a step back, reexamine their lives and regroup their direction. However, with this opportunity comes overwhelming pressure to DO IT RITE THIS TIME I SWEARS! At least, this is how I feel.
Generally, I am on the same roller coaster ride every year:
I am stoked for the new year, because that means I can shed the previous year like unwanted skin (ew, visual) and go forth with BIGGER! and BETTER! ideas that will surely, surely come to fruition this year, because this year is MY year, it has to be! I’ve never been more determined, more driven, or with more tools to set out and accomplish everything I’ve ever wanted to accomplish – in love, personal image and growth, friendships, independence, and career!
I typically start out on a major high and actually make a valiant effort to obtain these goals, but invariably, I do too much too soon, become overwhelmed, and when a crisis eventually comes my way, I threaten to commit myself under my bed and completely loose focus on all of the positive things I had going for me.
Usually I have to work my way back s-l-o-w-l-y, pick them up from the dust whence I threw them to run screaming towards the hills, and start anew. By this time summer is ebbing and I only have four months to cram in a lot of personal goals and growth. I make some achievements and vow the rest for the New Year because, after all, “tomorrow is another day.”
Finally, finally, I have recognized this vicious cycle I have put myself in and now that I can take a step to the left an reexamine things before I enter the whirlpool of resolution hell, I am outlining the ways that I can make and keep my goals. Maybe something I’ve learned can help you, too.
Firstly, it’s vital that we do not beat ourselves up for not achieving what we meant to in the previous year. Reflect, but do not look back! Celebrate what we achieved and focus on the next step forward, don’t linger on the steps behind.
Example: Yes, getting a publishing deal would have been swell, but I’m not going to dwell on that. What I am going to do is praise myself for actually completing the book I want to eventually have published. Go, me!
Setting new goals means getting organized means having the correct tools to accomplish this and the most vital tool you can have is self-motivation. Self-motivation requires a lot of organization to see that we do not fall off track and fall into old habits.
Example: I need a schedule. I have too many projects going on and many things I need to accomplish each week, little steps that will lead to bigger steps that will lead to PROFIT! and a schedule is essential. I tried to keep a mental To Do list and it just didn’t work for me.
Once you have goals in mind, take the time to write out the steps you need to take on how to achieve this goal. Start with your broad, general goal and work your way back up, step by step. Place this outline where you can see it daily; print it out and tape it above your desk, bed, etc.
Often times physical organization leads to mental organization. If you can’t sort out everything, at the very least get your work space in order (the space that you are using to achieve your goals – be it a desk or work table or kitchen or keeping your gym clothes always ready to go if weight loss is your goal)
Example: In order to stick with the schedule I am making for myself to keep organized, I need to go out and buy a dry erase board and physically keep my schedule up so I stay on task.
There is danger in multitasking and spreading yourself too thin. If you have a lot on your plate as it is and you want to add Goal A, Goal B, Goal C take a step back, assess which Goal is the most vital (let’s say it’s Goal B), focus on there and once you build a comfortable enough momentum that incorporates your life responsibilities and the time set aside needed for Goal B, then attempt to add Goal A or C to the mix. Otherwise you’re just doing a juggling act – round and round it goes, getting nowhere.
Propel yourself forward and work the details out as you go along.
Example: For me, getting caught up in the pre-production of life has always been a major tripwire for me; I get too preoccupied with the outlining stage that I never actually produce anything. One of the rare instances when I took action was buying this domain and starting this blog. I thought and thought and thought and thought about it for nearly a year until finally one random day this summer I said SCREW IT and just went for it, adding details as I went along. If you’ve been with Glass of Win since it’s very beginning, you know the blog was not initially the focus – hell, it wasn’t even on the front page – but it evolved as such because I just kept chugging along, updating, tweaking, figuring out what I liked and what worked.
I am going to be constantly reminding myself not to over-analyze and to just go for it.
Accept that you cannot control everything in your life (this is my nice way of saying shit happens). It isn’t always possible to leave room in our busy schedules for a crisis, but do know that as long that everyone goes through them. You’ll get through it, you will grow from it, learn from it, and move on. I know you will.
Realize that there is no fairy godmother with a magic wand waiting for you in 2010, that your goals are your responsibility to maintain. You can’t expect magic; resolutions are a process. It isn’t going to happen overnight, either. Hell, it may not even happen in 2010, but as long as you are still on the path you want to be on and you got through as many steps as you could, you’re still on your way!
Make sure you are maintaining healthy, positive relationships that are mutually beneficial and satisfying. Nothing sucks worse than an energy vampire who drains you of your happiness and self-confidence every time you interact with them. If there is one vital lesson I had to learn the hard way it is that there are just some people in this world we cannot be around, no matter how much we want to love them and be a part of their lives. This can be a trying experience, but trust me, you need to let it go and chock it up to a life lesson. Your wounds will heal and all of that time you previously spent soaking in their negativity and turning it on yourself can now be put towards building new, positive relationships. There are many human beings on this planet – give some a chance. You may surprise yourself.
ASIDE: If you’re goal is weight loss/shaping up, permit to give you a mere whisper of advice: eat well. exercise. You need to change your life habits, not employ a temporary fix fad. Remember: you can’t spell diet without d i e
I have a bit of a confession to make now. The entire concept of New Year Resolution(s) kind of bothers me. Once you are resolved to do something, DO IT! What are you waiting for? Time is an illusion; there is no imaginary stopwatch in the sky holding you back from starting on your path to what you want to achieve, forbidding you to move forward until 12:00am January 1st hits your time zone. Life is trial and error, all you have to do is go for it.
Whatever your prospects are for 2010, I wish you all the utmost happiness and success. You can take that leap of faith (in yourself!) and you can achieve your goals. Happy New Year!
